Are You Growing Through Challenges?
by Phylis Clay Sparks



    Every once in awhile I catch myself saying, “Boy oh boy, life is just one thing after another!” Then I laugh at myself because that’s what life is — one thing after another. The question is, how do I respond to those things that happen one after another? What’s my attitude? How do I perceive the challenges I’m facing?
    These are important questions for all of us, because the experience of life is entirely about the way we approach it.
    Life is filled with obstacles and hurdles, but it is not about avoiding them. It’s about evolving emotionally and spiritually so that instead of going through our problems, we are growing through them.
    You might have heard the short autobiography, written by Portia Nelson, titled There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk. In chapter one, she walks down the street, encounters a deep hole and falls in. She has no idea where she is, feels lost and helpless and says, “It isn’t my fault.” It takes her forever to get out.
    In chapter two, she walks down the same street, encounters the same hole, pretends not to see it, tumbles in and then says, “But it isn’t my fault.” Again, getting out of it takes forever.
    What happens in chapter three? You got it! She falls in again. It’s becoming a habit. But now her eyes are open, she realizes it is her fault and extricates herself immediately.
    By chapter four, she has learned to walk around the hole. Finally, in chapter five, she walks down another street. Whew!
    Falling into the holes of life is another way of saying, “This is the way I’m reacting to the challenges that lie before me. I am falling into them mindlessly. I’m the victim and have been taken advantage of. I have no choice.  I’m helpless.” We spend time and energy going through the same unwanted experience almost as if it’s an addiction. It’s amazing how wasteful we are. 
    Speaking of being wasteful, there’s a story about a woman who falls out of a second-floor window and lands in a slow-moving garbage truck. Half buried in the garbage, she tries, without success, to get the truck driver’s attention. A foreign diplomat is standing on the sidewalk and sees the whole thing. He says to his friend, “There’s another example of how wasteful Americans are. That woman looks like she is good for at least another 10 years!”
    So how do we stop dropping into the garbage truck or hole? How do we grow through our challenges and move on? The answer, of course, is to do things differently. In other words, like Nelson, learn from your mistakes. Forgive yourself for being unaware or even stupid, unglue from the past, and walk down another street.
    Take responsibility for how you respond to the challenges of life rather than projecting blame onto someone else. Life happens. We react. Your reaction is under your control, and you are subject to the choices you make.
    The best way to handle this whacky world in which you live is to realize that you do have control over your responses. May you stay awake and aware, respond rather than react, make wise and deliberate choices, detach from the past and allow yourself to grow through the challenges.