Coffee Break with the Barista
Enjoying the Holidays and New Year
December 2008/January 2009
My
son, Sam, turned 14 on November 15. Unlike all of his other birthdays,
we didn’t have a big party and we didn’t have a traditional birthday
cake. Instead, we had a small gathering, taco pizza, gooey butter cake,
several rounds of cards and lots of fun and laughter.
Sometimes,
I reminisce about Sam’s younger years and often feel that it’s all
going by a little too fast. At other times, I’m happy to be done with
feeling the need to make everything perfect—perfect birthdays, perfect
holidays, perfect meals, perfect memories. Somehow, I’ve let go of the
need to make all of our experiences cookie-cutter wonderful. Instead,
nice is wonderful.
Over the years, we’ve developed family
traditions that we look forward to year after year—nothing elaborate or
requiring hours and hours of preparation—just nice little traditions
that feel very special to us. On Thanksgiving Day, we cook a turkey and
make a pie, then we pack it up and drive it to a homeless shelter (this
was Sam’s idea, many years ago). On Christmas Eve, Sam opens just one
gift—and it’s always pajamas (his other gifts comes on Christmas
morning); I always cook up some holiday toffee, and while Santa Claus
gives gifts to younger children, Sam also receives gifts from “Santa,”
and he always will—until he’s 40!
Wonderful moments and
memories don’t require perfect meals, perfect holidays, perfect wine,
perfect anything. Wonderful memories are created when we’re “present”
in the moment, engaged and connected to the people we love. Having
dinner with my friends; roller blading with Sam; Friday night pizza
parties; sled riding and ice skating; swimming in a crystal-clear
river; trout fishing; playing with our dogs; conversations with my
friends; brewing a special coffee on Saturday mornings—these are the
moments that I love and look forward to—moments that make my life so
very special.
Sometimes, I get caught up in thinking about
what my life is lacking, but the truth is this—it’s the small things,
the regular things, the free things, opportunities to give that really
make me happy.
When Sam was about seven or eight years old, he
said, “Mom, I know money doesn’t make us happy, but the things that
money can BUY DOES make you happy.” While there seems to be some truth
in what he said, I think the confusion is this: money is not a
satisfier, but it can be a dissatisfier. It feels good to be able to
pay all of our bills and buy a few “extras,” but it’s by giving to
others that we feel great satisfaction. You can have all the money in
the world, yet without sharing our time and abundance with others, how
much fun can it be? Pamela Kramer Childress has written a wonderful
article on volunteering on page 6. Volunteering is a great way to give.
And just when I think that I have so little to give, along
comes Sam Malek, owner of the coffee shop, More Than Coffee. Read
Jessica Wilson’s story about Sam on the following page — Sam may not be
the wealthiest person, but he gives more than anyone I know.
All
of our writers have done a terrific job of providing great stories for
this holiday issue. And I’m pleased to bring you the winners of our
first Top Picks — readers choices for the best in St. Louis.
And
here’s a suggestion to make the holidays and new year a little brighter
for everyone: this year, rather than spending lots of money on “stuff”
for my family, my challenge is to figure out ways to give to others. On
page 16 is a list of things that most of us can do to lighten the load
for someone else. Perhaps you will consider joining me in accomplishing
as many of these items as you can in the next two months. That’s a
challenge! Remember, while some people seem to have it all, the grass
IS NOT greener on the other side—it only appears to be greener from
time to time.
Happy Holidays
Marian Rein