Coffee Break with the Chief Barista

Greetings! We’re reaching new heights at Java Journal. More and more people are getting involved—noticing what we’re doing here, making an effort to join us in spreading good news and focusing on that which brings joy. Often, I’m asked how I remain positive. I say, “Stick around and you will see that I’m not always positive.” Rather, I’ve been experiencing my share of upsets and disappointments lately. In fact, the past two years have brought incredible physical and emotional challenges, and I don’t always handle them in the best possible way. Doesn’t matter—each of us has a unique history with different challenges. What does matter is that we catch ourselves in the act of (or prior to) responding negatively, then choosing a different response. Choosing a different response is a tricky business. Pretending that we aren’t having a negative reaction doesn’t really change the fact that we’re feeling negative about something. Pretending, I believe, is a huge factor in physical illness, extreme weight gain, etc. So how do we change a negative reaction into a neutral or positive feeling/reaction? I believe the first step is to ask the question, “What would I have to believe is true in order to have a negative reaction to this situation?” The example I like to use is this: If I said something extremely unkind to you, in order to have a negative reaction to it, you would have to believe that what I said is true. However, if I were to look you straight in the eye and sternly say, “You are a sunflower seed,” you would simply laugh because you know you are not a sunflower seed and, therefore, you don’t believe what I said. The next time you have a negative reaction to anything, pause and ask yourself, “What would I have to believe is true in order to have a negative reaction?” Whether or not we’re able to do it every time is not what’s most important. What’s most important is that our negative reactions become fewer and farther between. It doesn’t matter what others are able or not able to do—they don’t walk in your shoes. All that matters is YOU! In November, I asked Phylis Clay Sparks if she would write about change in her monthly Java Journal column. Well, not only did she write about change, she titled one of her talks at the Soul Esteem Center in November, “The Ego Hates Change.” That title hit me right between the eyes. It only took a few moments to stop and ponder it before I realized how true it is. You can hear more from Phylis at the Soul Esteem Center in Maryland Heights. Services are at 10:30 a.m. on Sunday mornings. All of us at Java Journal were deeply touched by an article submitted by a reader for “Outside The Box” on the following page. Those of us who consider ourselves on a path of self-improvement and awareness often find ourselves frustrated and disappointed as we so often fall short of our personal goals. If you’re like us, you’ll want to read this essay. I hope it touches you as it has touched us. What I like most about the holidays is the food! Everyone who knows me really understands the magnitude of that statement—I love to eat. And more than that, I love to cook! When I’m caught up with my chores at home and the office and I’m not horseback riding, I love to spend a Saturday morning perusing cookbooks and preparing new recipes. Finding recipes on the internet is fine in a pinch, but for me, reading cookbooks is much more fun—especially my old cookbooks. One of my books, titled With A Jug of Wine, was written by Morrison Wood and published in 1949 by Farrar, Straus and Company. (I got my copy from a woman who was giving away old books, and it’s signed by the author.) It’s a wonderful book filled with recipes that include wine as an ingredient, which definitely adds to its appeal. The majority of the recipes include a story, usually involving a relative or friend or Morrison himself, as well as some very interesting history. If you’re interested, I looked it up on Amazon and the 1949 edition is forty dollars. As the year winds down and we gear up for a new one, I’d like to express my gratitude to our advertisers, for without them, there would be no Java Journal. And without our loyal readers . . . there’s just no getting around it—we’re all in this together. Happy holidays and best wishes for a joyful and prosperous new year. Marian