Entering Your Stress-Free Zone: How to Feel Underwhelmed
by Kathryn Tristan

    It’s official:  An anxiety epidemic is raging in America. A startling one in four of us feels stressed out and anxious most of the time. But why are we so overwhelmed? Part of the problem is simple scheduling. Are we trying to do too much in a short span of time? Another aspect is the economic and political uncertainty of our times. But a larger part of our stress comes from how we are thinking and reacting to our lives and challenges.
    Stress becomes a problem when it is out of balance. After all, stress can be helpful. It revs up our internal engine for things such as making presentations, playing sports and handling emergencies.
    On the other hand, chronic stress also can make us feel unsettled, uneasy and can set the stage for emotional and physical problems. We may begin experiencing a dis-ease (disease) or tumble into anxiety/panic issues. 
    But here is a little secret. We are not stressed out. Rather, we become stressed in! When we are stressed in, the comforting connection to our inner sense of safety and happiness becomes mangled and twisted. When we are stressed in, we listen to our negative inner chatterboxes and struggle against the quiet guidance within us. We become overwhelmed by the drama of our problems.
    There is a way out of the dark tunnel of worry, anxiety and stress. We can instead learn to create our own stress-free zone. To do this we need to understand how stress happens and what we can do about it. Einstein’s theory of relativity tells us that E=MC2 (energy equals mass times the speed of light squared). Essentially this means that one type of energy is affected by another. 
    Tristan’s theory of Stressitivity says that S=CE2 . This means that Stress (S) results from Conflicts (C) in our Expectations (E). The more we are conflicted and the more expectations we have about something, the more likely we are to feel stress, squared.
    Here’s an example. What was supposed to be a glorious, sunny Saturday turns out to be gray and stormy. Karen has been stressed all week at work and looked forward to spending some time gardening on Saturday morning. She wakes up, hears the rain and shakes her head despondently. “Why does it always rain on weekends?” she grumbles. John awakens, hears the rain and is delighted. He won’t have to spend hours watering his grass. “Cool!” he says.
    The rain is the rain. What differs is how each person reacts to it. By learning to hear the inner negative dialogues and choosing to disagree with the negativity launches us into our stress-free zone. For example, when she awakened and heard the rain, Karen could have acknowledged her disappointment, but instead of dwelling on the negativity, she could have chosen to think and react differently. She could have decided to brew a nice cup of herbal tea, light a couple of candles and begin to read the new book she hasn’t had time to open. It’s all about choice.
    Not all stresses are as simple as rain. Once I pulled into the parking lot of a grocery store and noticed a young woman in the distance who was walking unsteadily as she pushed her grocery cart to her car. My first thought was, “She’s drunk.”  But as I watched more I realized she had some kind of disability.  Without any help, she placed her bags into the trunk, hopped in the car and drove off. As she did, I noticed her license plate. It read, “Can-Do.”
    Can do!  What part of her inner chatterbox does she focus on? Certainly not the one that says, “You can’t” or “This is NOT fair!”  This is one determined young woman who hears, “Try it, persist, be strong, yes, you CAN!”
    We cannot choose what happens to us on the outside, but our inner attitude is strictly up to us. Once we recognize the incredible power of our own thoughts, we can learn to work with them instead of them working against us. We may feel stressed, but we can make a quick recovery and we won’t become stressed in.

How to Create Your Stress-Free Zone
•    Be spontaneous and demand less. This may sound as if you are lowering your standards, but it simply suggests being more open to changes in your life and outcomes you weren’t expecting.

•    Laugh at occasional chaos. Life is filled with the unexpected. Keep your sense of humor. Indeed, it may rain on your parade, so pack your rain boots.

•    Take a “Time Out.” My sister. Margie, from Imperial, Missouri contributes this suggestion: During times of Red Zone Stress, take a 15- to  30-minute break to rebalance. Play with pets as they seem to absorb human stress and send back perfect love. Sing! Even if it’s while driving a car, belt out a favorite song such as Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious or even Born to be Wild!
    Kathryn Tristan is author of Anxiety Rescue – Simple Strategies to Stop Fear from Ruling Your Life. She is a research scientist on the faculty of Washington University School of Medicine. You can reach her at  Tristan@anxietyrescuebook.com.