It’s nearly Thanksgiving, and you may be wondering what you could possibly be grateful for. Your lover left, your bank account is at an all-time low and you've developed a medical condition. You feel despair and you can't imagine how you will ever feel joy again.
From where you are, emotionally, you cannot get even a whiff of joy. But you can spend 20 minutes working your way up the emotional ladder to a better feeling. From sadness you can climb up to anger (yes, anger feels better than despair); from anger you can get to frustration; from frustration you can get to hope; and from hope you can get to joy. And the way to do this is to start with one topic, finding increasingly better-feeling thoughts about that topic.
Fran’s List
Climbing up the emotional ladder
1) My lover left and now I’m sad, and I’ll probably be this way for a long time. I’m too old to start over again.
2) My love left and I’m angry. How could this happen just before the holidays? I should have known he would break my heart.
3) My lover left and I feel hurt and lonely, but I know in time I will feel better.
4) My lover left, but that’s okay because I know that an even better relationship is right around the corner if I would just stop saying negative things to myself. It’s not too late for me. It’s never too late. Some of the best relationships are discovered during mid-life.
5) My lover left and it’s probably a good thing for both of us. I’m grateful for that relationship because it helped me see what I want and what I don't want in a relationship.
6) My lover left and I’m really sort of looking forward to spending more time with my friends and doing things that I’ve been putting off. And I’m getting excited about meeting an even better partner for me. And even more than that, I’m just excited about feeling good about ME!