There’s been a debate among scientists that dates back to thirteenth century France about human nature versus human nurture.  Some scientists think that people behave as they do according to genetic predispositions or “animal instincts.” This is referred to as the “nature” theory of human behavior. Others believe that people think and behave in certain ways because they enter this world as a blank slate and everything they think and do is learned. This is known as the “nurture” theory of human behavior.     

My perspective is that both human nature and human nurture are at play in our lives, but as we wake up and become more conscious beings we gain more and more mastery over how we direct our human nature, or our basic instincts, through the conscious use of human nurture.

Two philosophy buffs were having a deep theoretical argument. One of them said, very sarcastically, “Since you’re so wise, answer this question: Why is it that when a slice of buttered bread falls to the ground it’s bound to fall on the buttered side?”

The other person decided to disprove this theory by a simple, practical experiment.  He got a piece of bread, buttered it on one side, and then dropped it.

“There you are,” he said triumphantly, “The bread, as you can see, hasn’t fallen on its buttered side at all.  So where’s your theory now?”

The first person came back with, “You think you’re so smart. You buttered the bread on the wrong side!”

Doesn’t it seem to be human nature to want to justify our beliefs, defend our position or opinion, and prove ourselves right—sometimes to the point of the ridiculous?

Human nature seem to have certain built-in tendencies. We’ve all said things like, “It’s human nature to want to be loved. It’s human nature to desire success. It’s human nature to be curious. It’s human nature to want to feel important.” Many theologians would say, “It’s human nature to be sinful.”

It seems obvious that human nature arrives at its true potential through human nurture. One of the human nurturing approaches of modern psychology is to talk about one’s “issues.” This is all about overcoming hurtful past events by getting our feelings out, baring our soul and discussing our issues.

Here’s a riddle for you: If you have ten issues, what’s the next thing you need? Well, if you have ten issues, the next thing you need is a pair of tennis shoes.

Maybe it’s human nature to talk about one’s issues, and there may be some merit in doing this. But doesn’t it make sense that the more we think about and talk about our issues, the more issues we will find to talk about? Talking about our issues can become addictive and pretty soon life is just made up mostly of issues. And then one finds oneself telling one’s stories over and over and reinforcing the issues. Is that really human nurture?  Perhaps sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn’t.

At what point do we step beyond the issues to discover the truth that’s been there all along, buried beneath a growing mound of stories that often have more to do with our imagination than with human nurture?

Here’s a brain teaser:  Imagine you’re in sinking rowboat surrounded by sharks. How would you ensure survival? Stop imagining!  Step out of that dream.

Our mind is a powerful mechanism and it can imagine anything to the point of making it seem real in our human experience. It may be human nature to use our imagination, but it’s human nurture to use our imagination wisely.

Our imagination is our ability to form mental images. It helps us give meaning to experience, and understanding to knowledge or awareness. It’s the basic way in which we make sense of the world. It plays a key role in our learning process. Imagination is fundamental to human nature, but it can also be fundamental to the conjuring of stories filled with assumption and erroneous logic and misperception. Likewise, our power of imagination is fundamental to our creativity and fundamental to human nurture.

So let’s use the creative imagination of our human nature, and come up with the Ten Commandments of human nurture:
1. See things from the other person’s point of view. Confucius say, “When you are angry at your neighbor, walk a mile in his shoes.” (Then you will be a mile away from him—and you’ll have his shoes. Just kidding.)
2. Go the extra mile. You get out of anything what you’re willing to put into it.
3. Give back to life. To get from life, we must give to life.
4. Treat others the way you would like to be treated. This is simply the Golden Rule.
5. Think before you speak. Unbridled words can wreak havoc with the concept of human nurture.
6. Let every action be taken with love.  Love is understood by everything that breathes. 
7. Rejoice in gratitude always. Human nature can seem to be about bemoaning the trials and tribulations of life.  But human nurture is about cultivating a deep sense of joy and gratitude. 
8. “Fear not, only believe.”  It’s human nature to worry. It’s human nurture to believe in something greater than fear.
9. Seek understanding and do the wise thing. Never approach any situation as though you’re the expert without first checking up on your understanding of what’s happening. Then take action.
10. Stretch forth your hand. Never wait for the other person to be the first to stretch out a hand. You be the first. There is no law, no rule, no restriction, no reason to withhold one’s hand in good will. 

All things considered, understanding, extra effort, thoughtful action and the outstretched hands of men and women all over the world—of all groups, religions, races, ages, nations and cultures—can restore and heal all of the withered values and intentions of human nature through a simple act of human nurture.