Making a YOU-Turn
Possibilizing versus Terribilizing
by Kathryn Tristan

    Imagine this — you’re going down a one-way street the wrong way! After realizing it, you will probably make a quick u-turn to head back on course.
    Our minds can be the same way. Sometimes they inadvertently turn into a wrong-way state of worry and fear without ever realizing it. When that happens, we can help ourselves by making a YOU-turn to steer us back on track.
    We seem to be on auto-pilot much of the time. We aren’t always aware of how we are thinking and reacting; we just do it. The problem comes when this automatic path turns us into uptight, stressed-out worry warts. Scientists believe that we have up to 100,000 thoughts per day. That’s a lot of mental chatter.
    Unfortunately, more than 70 percent of our thoughts are negative and repeating. It’s just like spinning our wheels in mental mud!  Without realizing it, we can quickly convince ourselves that a situation is, or could, become terrible. This focuses our minds on negative outcomes. Terribilizing is simply a bad habit.
    Ralph Waldo Emerson, a writer and philosopher, said, “The ancestor to every action in the physical world is a thought.” When our thoughts are focused on terribilizing, we may be attracting that destiny like a self-fulfilling prophecy. When we focus on terribilizing, we may not see better alternatives that are just as possible and just as likely.
    Here’s the good news! We get to choose which way to go. The key to taking back the reins of control and making a quick YOU-turn is not complicated. We can cancel automatic terribilizing by giving ourselves alternatives and saying no. For example, how about making a YOU-turn and saying, “What if things turn out just fine!” and “What if I can handle not only this but all of my challenges!”  That’s called possibilizing.
    Isn’t it just possible that the worst catastrophe may not happen? Stopping automatic terribilizing is a monumental step. We may not be able to control those first thoughts, but the second, third, etc., are strictly our own choices. Once we become aware of how our minds are thinking and reacting, we can accept or decline our next responses. By becoming aware of the negative chit-chat and then disagreeing with automatic negative thoughts, we can create a life filled with more peace and wonderful possibilities.
    Here are some examples of YOU-turns out of terribilizing and into possibilizing.

Terribilizing: I can never do anything right. I’m selfish and stupid.
Possibilizing: I am strong and capable. I love to help others.

Terribilizing:  Why is John so mean to me? I guess somehow I caused this.
Possibilizing: I am a good and decent person. This is John’s issue, not mine. I deserve better treatment.
Terribilizing: What if I lose my job and my house and my family goes hungry?
Possibilizing: I’m a survivor. I’m a coping machine and I will handle all that I need to handle. Things will work out — always have, always will.

Terribilizing: I am so lonely since my children grew up and left.
Possibilizing: I love my free time. I can volunteer and really make a difference.

    Making pro-growth choices puts us in the driver’s seat of life instead of being the poor-me, helpless victim. Possibilizing doesn’t mean our life will be without problems and challenges. It simply provides a framework to handle them with grace, determination and boundless hope.
    LaoTzu, a renowned Chinese philosopher, said, “If you do not change directions, you may end up where you are going!”
    Where are you going? It’s your choice. Remember, our thoughts create our lives — choose them wisely!