Our Perfectly Imperfect World — Who says you shouldn’t make mistakes?
by Kathryn Tristan

    Would you like to live in Perfect World? In this magnificent place, life is always fair, all people love you, good things happen and bad things do not. Oh yes, and you never ever make mistakes!
    Most people would run, not walk, to Perfect World. That’s because everything would be pleasant and predictable. There would be no need for the emotion of fear or the experience of pain. Unfortunately, Perfect World always clashes with Real World.
    In Real World, pain exists. In Real World, our demands for fairness can propel us into the failure we find so hurtful. The way out of the dark tunnel of perfectionism is to develop an outlook makeover. This is just one way to change your thinking to create a new and different mind set.
    Even when things don’t go your way, you can choose to be peaceful by learning to say “okay” instead of “no way” to your challenges. When you shift your focus in this way, there are still bumps on the road, but you begin to focus more on the journey than the destination. As with riding a horse, you learn to move in synchrony with the ups and downs.
    Choosing to say “okay” instead of “no way” allows you to develop the attitude that things are happening as they need to happen, even if the situation itself is not perfect. This doesn’t mean that you accept abuse or neglect. It simply means that you resolve to handle your circumstances the best way you can, then let them go. You also create the mind set that perfect is an open interpretation. That is, one person’s perfect may not be another’s.
    Here’s a little parable called The Perfect Apple:
    Imagine that you are a perfect apple. No other apple in the orchard is as beautifully red, incredibly large or absolutely flawless as you. Two people pass under your tree. Naturally, you expect them to pick you as their treasure. Instead they both walk away. You feel puzzled and hurt. As they leave, you hear one of them say, “Let’s go look for a peach tree. I don’t like apples.”
    The idea of the story is that, even if you are the best and the most perfect, your perfection is not always good enough for others who may desire something else.
    Sometimes our situations are a lot more serious than this little story illustrates. What then? When your challenges seem insurmountable, that is the time to dig beneath the surface of your life and find a larger meaning. Connecting to inner sources of power allows you to handle all that life throws at you. The power that no one can ever take from you is the power of choice. Even with what seems to be too hard or too painful, you have the ability to see things differently and work within the difficulties.
    Viktor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning, chronicles his experiences in a concentration camp in World War II. Though the captors stripped him of every vestige of his life, Frankl wrote that he remembered most those who walked among the huts, comforting others and giving away their last pieces of bread. From that horrible experience, Frankl searched for a deeper meaning of life and found one. He learned that everything can be taken from you except your inner freedom to choose your attitude.
    You may never be in a concentration camp, but you may be allowing your circumstances and demands for perfection to place you in an invisible one. Life is never perfect, so stop expecting it to be so. Learn to cope instead of mope and do so with grace and determination.
    Anxiety-seeding perfectionism rears its ugly head in another way: the absolute dread of making mistakes. This mind set can hold us back from pursuing our dreams.
    What if you adopted an “outlook makeover” in which mistakes were not necessarily bad? What if mistakes opened up the portal to greater understandings or propelled you into your true mission in this life?
    Quieting the perfectionist voice and opening ourselves to new experiences and possibilities suggests:
    It is better to try and fail than succeed at nothing!
    It also helps to keep your sense of humor. The late comedian Dudley Moore said, “I have learned from my mistakes and can repeat them exactly.”
    If you make a mistake, own up to it and try to make amends as best you can. But, instead of emotionally beating yourself up, why not express something more productive and true? After all, to learn from your mistakes, you’ve got to go out and make some!
    To create a new mind set that helps instead of hurts, try these to counter unrealistic and pain-provoking perfectionism:
• I am learning to flow with life.
• I am getting better at handling obstacles.
• I choose to move forward happily, easily.
• I am a wonderfully creative problem solver.
    By connecting with the loving energy of your own highest spirit you can refuse to heed the words of the inner menacing critic. Remember, our thoughts create our lives in this perfectly imperfect world. Choose them wisely!