Overcoming Fear: Practical Steps
by Peggy Sullivan Rosenthal, MEd

Fear is a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain and so on — whether the threat is real or imagined.

First, real fear is described as a physiological reaction that happens when, for example, a dog attacks you, an intruder enters your home or when you are in a car accident. These instances raise real fear, causing your brain to send your body hormonal and neuro-chemical responses.

When the hormones are released, they begin to trigger changes. These include raising adrenaline and cortisol levels, increasing your heart rate and respiration. You may know this as the “flight or fight” response. 

These triggers are meant to stay active for only a few seconds and usually last no more than a minute. This is enough time for you to react to whatever is causing the fear.

Now, what happens when the source of the fear is not real but imagined? Examples of imagined fear are getting a disease or illness, or anticipating failure at something you want to try. A common acronym used to describe imagined fear is False Evidence Appearing Real.

When imagined fear is raised, the same physiological response of adrenaline and cortisol release occurs, but it can remain in the body for a longer period of time because you don’t react quickly. Instead, you prolong the fear. This reaction adds more stress to your body, which can cause exhaustion and lead to other problems.

Mark Twain once said, “Courage is resistance to and mastery of fear — not the absence of fear.” 

How true those words are. Fear will never go away.  Fear can be a lifesaver, but it can also be destructive if allowed to remain a constant in your daily life.

Imagined fear can feel like a massive wall that drops down in front of you when you are trying to get to something that you want. This massive wall may seem insurmountable at times. However, there are steps that you can take to successfully overcome fear. But first, you need to recognize and name what you are afraid of. What’s behind these imagined fears could be:
• fear of rejection
• fear of failure
• fear of success
• fear of being alone
• fear of not being liked
• fear of being judged
• fear of making a mistake

These imagined fears could be:
• excuses you hide behind to avoid growth and change
• disabling beliefs that are carried inside that may hinder living a productive life
• familiar ways of responding to uncomfortable situations
• negative messages that were given about extreme consequences if certain activities or behaviors were embraced
• the bottom-line motive of a lack of action in problem-solving and decision-making

Imagined fears can stifle your growth and self-improvement, including your decision-making, and altering educational and/or career pursuits. Imagined fears can also contribute to an unhealthy lifestyle to the point where they become second nature.

To overcome them, you will need to confront them. Try this exercise: write down your imagined fears — possibly in a journal. Put them in order of the worst fear first. Now, decide if you want to confront them. 

If so, ask yourself (and then answer) the following questions.
• How have these fears affected my past or current actions in my life?
• How much power do these fears have in my life?
• How do these fears inhibit me?
• How long have I had these fears?
• How convinced am I of the need to confront these fears?

Now that you have taken some time to confront your imagined fears, you may be ready to overcome them. Overcoming your fears means reframing your fearful thoughts.

One of the first things to do when you decide to overcome your fears is to make friends with each fear. Yes, you read that right. Make friends with each fear. Get to know the fear. When it comes up, embrace the physical feeling. In other words, if you feel a knot in your stomach, go ahead and feel the knot. Pause for a moment and really feel it. You can even say to yourself, “The feeling is here, I’m becoming afraid.” You’ll be surprised that just the acknowledgement of this physical sensation can help it dissipate. You may still have the fear, but as you continue to recognize its existence and really feel it, it should become less and less powerful.

Here are six practical ways to overcome fear.
• If a fear is keeping you awake at night — get up. Move around or pick up that good book you’ve been reading.
• Turn on the TV or radio.  Just notice that life is going on around you.
• Exercise! Get your blood flowing. Exercise will replace the “fear” hormones with the “good” hormones that promote strength and power.
• Sing or whistle. If nothing else, you will start breathing normally and this will help calm you down.
• Think positive thoughts. Recall a past success. Remember that you can do great things.
• Create your own mantra. It could be as simple as “I can handle this.”  Then silently repeat it over and over again.
• Stay in the here-and-now — focus on what’s happening. This will keep your mind from wandering to future events that may never happen.

To many of us, feeling real or imagined fear can stop us in our tracks. Hopefully, you’re ready to take a stand and become more powerful than your fears. It will take time, but you can master your fears.

When fear rears its ugly head, you might consider the following:
• Do what makes you happy. Keep obligations and responsibilities and add to them what makes you happy.
• Remind yourself that no one is paying that much attention to you. Spend less time worrying about what others think of you. They are much too busy wondering what others think of them.
• Everyone has fears, but handling fear successfully involves choosing to move through the fear and doing what makes you feel happy.
• Make your own plan and move toward the goal. Move through the fears that may present themselves to you.

Imagined fear can be recognized, confronted and overcome. The next time you feel fear, secretly smile, pause and let the physical sensation become a motivator — a friend. Be present in the moment and then use this acronym to describe your fear: Feeling Energy Abundantly Raised!