This is my first attempt at writing or writting for the general public. Does one double the consonant before adding the ending? Miss Lotta Rules, my English teacher at good ol’ Clayton High would have been a great help. Too bad it is seventy-odd years too late. On many occasions I have wondered about my spelling and grammar. Also, I realized others could have used Miss Lotta Rules’ help. I shall always remember her. But enough of reminiscing—now to my story.

It all started innocently enough when I was visiting family in Austin, Texas. I wanted to order a purse online. I don’t go shopping in stores very often because I don’t get around very well with my walker. My experienced daughters wanted to be helpful, so they engaged in some serious “playing around” on the computer to find the perfect handbag for “dear old Mom.”

With handbags, or purses as we call them here in St. Louis, the choices can be overwhelming. There are so many decisions to make. The categories I describe below are all of equal importance.
Design

A few of the choices available: solids, plaids, stripes, polka dots, fish, seashells, cuddly animals, pastoral scenes, flowers, sexy lace and sequins.

We discussed pros and cons, the first of our heated debates, and then all hell broke loose—BIG TIME! There was shouting, hysterical laughter, finger-pointing, stomping feet, red faces, slaps on the back, vying for attention, strange looks, angry looks, trying to stifle laughter, trying to stay calm—the entire gamut of all emotions, each of us giving her own convincing opinion.

I, being out of control, was the loudest and most animated. Had I been able to get to the floor to roll around with frivolity, I would have. I don’t think I would have been able to get back up, though. My son-in-law, the prestigious professor who had been watching us for a bit, managed to slip away from the room. It was too much for him, and he’s a funny guy under normal circumstances.

This was the first of several joyful, delirious shopping experiences with my daughters, with visible love and affection weaving in and out and increasing with every session. The debates on the ensuing features of each purse were getting progressively more boisterous and hysterical in every detail. We were gaining more in this business of laughter.

For the next few days, whenever there was a lull in activities—we’d been kayaking and hiking at Whole Foods (it’s a big store)—our eyes were glued to the web. It was lucky for me that we located one of those 15-minute massage guys at Whole Foods. After a relaxing treatment, I was rejuvenated and ready to hit the computer screen again, and later that evening we continued the search for the perfect bag.

Interior Lining
We directed our next search to answer the question: How much influence could the lining have on the choice of a purse? Plenty. If it was too dark, it would be difficult digging around trying to find keys, money, chewing gum, expired coupons, positive affirmations, pens, combs, lipstick and those little cards for various new services or new addresses that you didn’t want in the first place. If the business cards were a little larger they could say, “Clean up” (cleaning services included). Ha ha... On the other hand, a dark lining makes it difficult to see M&Ms and cookie crumbs at the bottom of the purse, though it gives the illusion of cleanliness. With a lighter colored lining, everything would be visible.

Strap
Now we come to the really complicated part—the length of the strap. After gathering a tape measure, yard stick, ruler and other measuring devices, we almost came to an agreement on length. We then noticed a purse that had an adjustable strap—a gift from Heaven! No more neck strangle. The strap is a very important feature, as I use a walker and a cane as a result of hip surgery. To keep my hand free for my walker or cane, I generally go out carrying my purse around my neck. In an attempt to retrieve something, I could get strangled!

My favorite solo outing is swimming at the Clayton Recreation Center. I swim, exercise, float on the Lazy river, use the hot-tub and even go down the water slide. When I leave the pool area I get dressed and head out to the car with my walker and my purse around my neck. Because it is so great at the pool and the rec center, I don’t mind wrestling with the strap of my purse. I just hope to come out victorious.

Style/Shape
When considering a purse, the style and the shape are also tough decisions. Sporty,
dressy, modern, conservative, rectangular, square, rounded, banana-shaped. Fat on top, skinny on the bottom, or vice versa. Because one of my hips is higher than the other, I would like something to hide the defect. Does the style and shape of the purse make a statement? What does it say?

Price
Thankfully, I’m a bargain shopper and a conservative dresser and don’t shop at Needless Mark-ups (Neiman Marcus). Something reasonable and in good taste that suits my requirements are all I ask. Is that too much?

Color
Really, what could be more important than knowing the color of my bag? But just in case you’re waiting with baited breath to know, I need to mention that we selected the navy blue.

Reflection
I shall never forget this incident and how freeing it was, and how light I felt. What I remember the best is the humor, frivolity (bordering on hysteria) and uncontrollable emotion in every search session. So aside from humor and laughs, I hope my readers—if there are any left at this time—might try to incorporate laughter whenever possible into their lives. More and more there is scientific evidence that proves how valuable this free activity is. Being familiar with psychological happenings, I feel that uncontrollable laughter is very therapeutic. Speaking of fun, you gotta try Laughter Yoga just for the “health” of it.

All joking aside, this ain’t (forgive me, Miss Lotta Rules) all fun and games. Word has it that, in order to keep brain cells alive, one should do something new and different. In my case, it’s writing. I hope it works. It could be a real bonus in the process of getting older while having a ball. I did have fun doing this piece. It was my first, and probably my last, but it was an experience. I hope you got a chuckle or two from this. I laughed at myself many times and described it as a delicious happening.

Read it with peace and joy in all your “purse-uits.” I must add, in seriousness, my appreciation for everything and everyone.

So now this little tale has ended
The experience for me was splendid
Now I take myself less serious
What the hell! Let’s be joyfully delirious!