The month of December always brings with it the message of “giving.” Whether we honor the tradition of Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, we might notice that, in spite of their differences, they have some things in common. One of those things is being in favor of giving—or “for” giving. In case you haven’t noticed, being “for” giving adds up to being forgiving.

What better time than the end of a year to let go of past grievances. We can start the new year with a heart and mind that can focus upon high intentions for the coming year, rather than dragging a heavy backpack loaded with guilt, resentment, judgment and prejudice with us into the next moment, and the next, and the next. Don’t forget, the future is a result of accumulated present moments and what we have done with each one of them.

Think about what you are gifting others with this holiday season. Not just the tangible gifts wrapped in shiny paper and tied with ribbon, but also the quality of your thoughts, feelings, attitudes and actions you offer. Aren’t these things gifts too? What kind of gifts are you offering?

Likewise, what kind of gifts are you accepting?

I read a story about a man who heard of the Buddha’s reputation for being peaceful and nonviolent regardless of what he encountered in life. This man decided to test the divine one, so he traveled a long distance to meet him and spend some time in his presence.

When he got there, he decided to test the Buddha’s composure by acting rude and obnoxious, verbally abusing the Buddha in an attempt to induce him into an angry reaction. But the Buddha never faltered in his peaceful conduct and attitude. Each time the visitor did something offensive, he responded with love and kindness.

Finally, the man couldn’t stand it any longer. He shouted at the Buddha, “How can you be so peaceful and kind when all I’ve done is to constantly antagonize you?” 

The Buddha’s response was in the form of a question: “If someone offers you a gift, and you do not accept that gift, to whom does the gift belong?”

What a wise question!

If someone gives you a gift of hostility or anger, or some other demeaning or offensive offering, and you decide not to accept it, then the gift belongs to the giver, not you.

You always have the power to choose whether or not you accept a gift of unwholesome thoughts, feelings or behavior from someone else. You don’t have to take it. At the same time, you can choose to maintain your own thought atmosphere of peace, therefore making peace your gift. When you get right down to it, this amounts to being in favor of giving, or “for” giving, or forgiving.

May this be your attitude about giving this holiday season, so that every gift you give carries with it the purity of a forgiving heart. And may you find yourself standing on the threshold of 2012 with the purity of intention that will grow and expand into gifts received that you never dreamed possible. Merry December and Happy New Year!